Reflections on Turning 30
I’m turning 30 this year. An old mentor of mine asked me if I could write some thoughts and share them with some of my peers from college. I liked what I wrote so much I thought I’d share it with a wider audience. So without further ado, here’s what’s top of mind for me as I turn 30.
Find your people:
A lot of people search for jobs based on either a company or position, myself included. Over the last 6 years that I’ve been working professionally though, I’ve come to realize that my day-to-day happiness is much more influenced by the people with whom I’m working rather than what we’re specifically working on. In fact, almost every job or role change I’ve initiated has been the result of me either losing co-workers I enjoyed working with or discovering that there were even more interesting people somewhere else. Put succinctly, the people matter more than the work.
Everything is way more complicated that I thought:
Things seemed a lot simpler when I was in college. I felt like I had the ability to discern when something was wrong, morally objectionable, or bad. But now…well, more shades of gray show up every year. For example, my time at Facebook was full of wonderful people who legitimately were trying to do their best and make the most compelling product that they could. Nothing nefarious what-so-ever. Yet, if you read the New York Times, your perception of Facebook is probably something along the lines of “Facebook is literally the Devil and it’s single handedly destroying America.” How can I square this? On the one hand, I believe The New York Times is a relatively well respected media outlet. On the other, I actually worked at Facebook for two years and my experiences during that time are in direct conflict with the picture being painted. Should I just not trust anything other than my own experience? How can I objectively evaluate if something is good or bad given the seeming unreliability of even respectable information sources? I don’t know. If anyone has thoughts on this, I’d love to hear them.
Reading is fantastic:
I’ve started reading more books lately. Once I realized I didn’t need to finish a book just because I bought it, I felt more freedom trying things out. I went from basically not reading to reading about a book a month. Sci-Fi is fantastic, shout out to all my Neal Stephenson and Ursula K. Le Guin fans, as is Non-fiction. Also, getting a Kindle a few years back was probably one of the best purchases I’ve ever made. I actually spend less time on my phone now and more time on my Kindle. This has had a positive impact on my life.
But we’re also living in a golden age of television:
Holy wow. So many great series right now (especially Sci-fi and Comedy). I think the introduction of streaming services has really upped the ante here. The competition to create compelling stories has resulted in huge benefits to us, the viewers.
Running:
Running consistently (i.e. every day, even if it’s only for 20 minutes) continues to be one of the best things for my physical and mental health. I find that when I’m running, if I just let my mind wander (I don’t listen to music while running), it usually wanders to the places it needs to go. This manifests itself in two ways. First, if something is eating at me, it seems to really come into focus. And with that knowledge I can usually start figuring out ways to address my feelings. Second, work. It’s amazing the puzzles you can solve (be they dealing with people, or be they technical) in your head on a 40 minute run.
I’m more excited about the future than ever:
I just recently got married! The weeks leading up to the wedding were full of complex emotions. On the one hand, It seemed like with each day, as we got closer to the wedding, my happiness grew. And this was happiness like I’d never felt before. It was almost a physical sensation, it was so intense. But I was also a little scared/nervous. To me, getting married implies starting a family which in turn means I was “loosing” certain freedoms: reduced traveling, less flexibility with my schedule, less ability to engage in hobbies. But in the days leading up to the wedding something clicked for me. I went on a run with one of my groomsman the morning of my wedding, and as we looked out over the calm Tomales Bay, I told him how over the past few days my feelings had evolved. I started focusing on all the things I was gaining: a partner who loves me deeply, new family and friends, the ability to build a household, etc. It’s hard to articulate, but I think in many ways I now have new freedoms. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Other Random points:
- It’s actually morally bankrupt NIMBYS that are single handedly destroying America
- Low-cost index funds are the way to go
Bonus:
My wife and I don’t have any pictures from our actual wedding yet, but we do have some engagement photos from a few months back. Here’s a photo of me and my (now) wife!
